I had a ‘last blossoming’ at 42 years of age. Every man and his dog was after me. I was pumping out hormones. It was horrid. Then it levelled off a bit and the perimenopause started at about 45 with a massive change in my body chemistry. My teeth were suddenly covered in plaque, I had heartburn constantly every day. Violent moodswings. My eyesight went from perfect to thick lens glasses in a year. Ears clogged up. Then the hot flushes started at about 49 years along with weird periods. Sometimes I was on all the time with this weird brown stuff like myconium (babies first poo). Sometimes Id miss out a month altogether. One day I got into the car for work and flooded through a towel and into the seat. I had done some major cleaning up of my lifestyle by then so the heartburn had become manageable (reducing stress, giving up smoking, apple cider vinegar, cut down processed foods or alcohol) but then I began getting what I thought was arthritis. So started magnesium oil and further improving my diet. I was flying on the social front at this point having overcome all my communication issues.
I havnt had a period for a year now.
But things took a real tumble in early spring when I got flu (I dont have colds), a lump on my breast and such painful joints that I went on a major detox. I was sleeping through the day and night so I just gave up ! Everything ! and shut myself away inside my house.
Bit scared of going down the old depression route again but I just call it ‘resting’ and I’m fine. All my old Aspie symptoms have come on full wack. Im incredibly dyslexic, even numerically. I dont answer the door or the fone. Ive dived into studying. My hands swell up in response to diet. As does my intestine: Diarrhoea piles, bleeding gums. The brain fog is immense. Im Dizzy. Can’t remember where I am when I first wake. Ive trained myself to remember that my glasses are usually on my head ! Where is that once formidible mind that remembered TOO much? All the same symptoms as the bucket term ‘fibromyalgia’. Auto Immune Response. Same symptoms as HIV sufferers. Inflammation. Food Intolerance. Now I’m thinking of cutting out wheat altogether. And no men, well not boyfriends anyway. No interest !
Crazy, but I’m incredibly happy for the first time in my life. I’m loving the lack of pressure to succeed that Ive always flayled myself with. Ive trained my mind to meditate constantly so I have no thoughts running around like little gremlins in my head growing into monsters. I am in the Here and Now.
I AM very worried about my old age….I need to go out and work so I can carry on being able to do what I’m doing now. I dont know if I’ll be able to be in the Rat Race again now Ive found Nirvana. When does it end Girls? Or perhaps this is the beginning.